McCafes

So... I had a good laugh when my fellow bloggers posted their Starbucks horror stories. You know, the stories where one suffers in line as the tremendously stupid/arrogant/rude/self-absorbed/all-of-the-above person takes an ice-age to order a coffee. Hahahahaha HAH, it was all very funny when it was happening to someone else!

So... Today I was standing in line for a dose of pre-exam (aka post all-nighter) grease-bombs, and to my horror I hear something like this: "I'll have a double mocha meltdown, triple expresso, quadruple shot of hazelnut, vanilla, cappuccino. On ice, but still piping hot. With no creamer, because its all artificial and stuff, and I drive a hybrid SUV. It gets 15 miles to the gallon instead of 6. I'm so totally green."

At first I thought I was suffering from post-all-nighter-fatigue. (I'm not as young as I used to be) Then blearily I peered around. I saw a sign that said McCafe, and a whole row of coffee fixins, and the bleach blond bimbo who ordered it. No this couldn't be a dream. If it was one of my dreams it wouldn't have been a McCafe, but something crazy like a McDope which vended McMeth(amphetamines) now brewed with Genuine NyQuil Brand Cough Syrup. And there wouldn't have been a bleach blond, I only dream about redheads (well a particular redhead that is). So this definitely wasn't a dream. The next thought to cross my mind was.....

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!?!?!?!

I decided to stick it out. Yes, I know its stupid to pay for lard laden food that will give me cancer, obesity, high blood pressure, prostate pulsations, colon clusters and ED. I know it is even more obscenely stupid to stand in line behind a Bleach-Blond-Bimbo ordering Coffee like she is Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex In The City.

"It can't get any worse than this," I tell myself, "the worst is over, she's ordered and soon I'll have my dollar-menu hash-browns and biscuits and I'll be out of here." But the worst wasn't over. Not even close.

Bleach-Blond-Bimbo: "So, did I get it right? Isn't that, like, totally, Sarah Jessica Parker's favorite coffee in Sex In The City?"

Underpaid Cashier: "Uh... I guess it depends on the season."

BBB: *smacks forehead* "DUH, I totally forgot. I totally meant season five."

UC: "Uh... I think you got it mostly right, but I don't think piping hot coffee can be on the rocks. Uh... I think you got the winter version and the summer version mixed up."

BBB: *looks confused, the confusion so thick you can see it through the back of a huge hair-sprayed coif of hair* "errr... I can't remember, stop making me think so hard, like my head feels like it will literally (said lit-really) explode."

UC: *looks worried that her head really will explode and the stupid will rub off* "Uh... so that will be one Season Five. Uh... Cold or Hot?"

BBB: "I think I want a season Three now."

UC: "Uh.... a black, triple raspberry, crushed ice, triple creamer, hold the coffee?"

BBB: "Yah..."

UC: *Looking worried again* "Uh... we don't sell McFlurries during breakfast."

BBB: "Like OMG!!!!!! Whats WRONG WITH YOU GIVE ME MY COFFEE!"

UC: *Positively terrified now* "Uh.... howabout a season 4?"

BBB: "A vanilla, expresso, with a double shot of cashier saliva, poured over the grindings, shaken not stirred?"

UC: "Uh... That's the one."

BBB: "Oooh, sounds good, that might be my new favorite."

UC: "Uh... that will be $15.34"

....

I finally got my hash-browns, but what I want to know is, Who's confounded idea was it to make a McDonald's into a Starbucks? That's the last time I hit a McDonald's before 7:00 AM, at least until the over-complicated-over-priced-coffee craze is over, or until my next all-nighter.

Hey you gu-uys!

The Goonies Then and Now.



I guess Chunk ended up going to Law School. Sounds like he can hit the books as hard as he could hit the ice cream.

Shoes

Remember how we have* to juggle our shoes every-time we get on a plane? (off then on, then off again cause the guard wasn't paying attention, then on, then off one more time cause they didn't get a good look for the first two times) That was the suck. I like shoes. Especially when it is cold, or when the sidewalk is hot. Bending over trying to take them off whilst juggling luggage and 2 computer bags wasn't fun either. And it was all down to one idiot terrorist and his shoe bomb.

Why then are the idiots of the world conspiring against us shoe wearing people again? Taking heart from the Idiot-Iraqi-Wingtip-Lobbing-Wanker a British protester pitched his oxford at the Chinese Premier. Pretty soon people are going to be chucking their shoes at singers and athletes. It is a disturbing trend.

If idiots keep this up I can see shoes being banned from all public gathering places. Imagine going to the ball park and having to take off your shoes! Although the sticky soda and beer soaked bleachers would be unpleasant in bare feet or socks, I shudder at the mere idea of attempting to use a public male restroom w/o that quarter inch of rubber protecting my feet from those of poor aim, and I don't want to hold it through triple overtime.

So do us all a favor. Keep your shoes on people! If, by chance, you see someone about to toss their moldy shoe at someone. Take a split second to think of the horror of using a public restroom without the benefit of shoes, or of sitting enjoying a concert in socks as the slob behind you spills his coke and it forms a river between your toes, when that time comes you'll know what to do. Block their arm, punch them in their nose, taser them if you have to. Do NOT allow idiots to throw their shoes, even if you detest the intended target. The hallowed practice of donning footwear supersedes any political agenda or social statement. Help me protect it.

This has been a sushiboy-public-service-announcement.
*(edit: tense change. Nobody asked the question if we still have to take them off in the airport. There is new technology that can scan shoes without removing them. But we still have to take off shoes, for now...)

Posting

Did you ever feel like you really wanted to post, but any every idea you have for a post doesn't seem good enough?

No flooding yet.

Today it feels downright hot, even though it is only 70 degrees. No flooding yet. This is good, I hope things melt evenly and no one loses an eye, er, I mean house.

In other news I found out I don't have to take a final in one of my classes. I have a high enough grade in the class that I can skip everything else for the rest of the semester and still get an A. I wish it was the same story in the other class. I have a big paper due tomorrow (and a 30 min presentation on that paper) and my group project Thursday (and a presentation on that too). And somewhere along the way I should probably find a few hours to finish our taxes for the year. Blech. I can't wait for next week.

My first summer class looks like it will be easy. I might actually get some time to blog and do other fun stuff soon. Hooray! Also its my Birthday in two weeks. It sounds like Superwoman has found a really cool gift for me. I can't wait to find out what it is.