Not enough time.

So the evenings have been crammed lately. There just doesn't seem like there is enough time to do everything I need to do and even a few of the things I want do. Last night I got home from work late, cooked dinner (Superwoman was advising a church Youth Group like she does every Wednesday), read to the kids for a bit & put them to bed. 9:00 PM, where did my day go?

I have been working on my drawing lately, read more here. The problem is, I have a hard time finding any time to draw. So I have ended up staying up till 1 or 2 the last few nights trying to get some work in. While the results have been pleasing, I have been really tired the last couple of days. Which begs the question. Why didn't I put the time into learning this when I was a teenager and had oodles of free time?

Did you ever feel like you misspent your youth?

All the free time I had as a teenager I wasted. Back then I was interested in one thing, and one thing only. Video games. I had a job or two, I saved a bit to go on a mission, and I bought video games with the rest. I could have gotten good grades (easily) in high school but I played games instead. So instead of having a 4.0, I have 2.9 HS GPA. I could have gotten a lot better at art, but I played games instead. Etc.. Etc... Etc... I have a laundry list of ways that I could have used my time better as a teenager. About the only good thing that came from my video game obsession is that I learned how to program a computer so I could make games of my own. Which has turned out (programming in general) to be valuable skill (I support my family with it). So I guess I shouldn't second guess myself too much.

So I guess as much as anything, the adult me is frustrated with the teenage me. I've really wanted to make some headway on my book, but I've been hung up learning to draw. And now I have to earn the skill the hard way, by staying up late and by ignoring my other hobbies. It's not that drawing is a horrible experience. It is a good experience, but a hard one. Currently it takes all of my mental energy to do it. I really have to REALLY think to get a line to look right, I am surprised by how much left brain thinking it takes for something to look good paper. I have to remember where my light source is, then think of how that light would wrap around my object, then get my hand to co-operate and draw all that. I used to think drawing was strictly a talent. Either you could draw, or you couldn't. But I can see now it takes WORK to make a good drawing, regardless of your skill level. Some of it is tedious, some mentally intensive, but the whole piece of work, is just that, work. But like all work, you get out what you put in to it, and I'm starting to see some results. So I guess I'll just have to put up with being tired for a while.